accurate
Real life
(Source: indievisualjournal, via rawrwell)
“No matter what you do in life, someone has something negative to say.” — (via dunksrnice)
And I’d like to clear things up with you, but I’m stubborn.
I want to tell you that it was stupid of me to stop talking to you, but I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t just stand there feeling a stab at my heart every time you’d say, ‘hello.’ I couldn’t just mindlessly flirt there, because you’d stick to my thoughts a bit longer than expected, and it just drives me crazy.
I just look back and I think about the times we could have shared. I look back and wonder what would happen if we were still friends. I look back and tell myself to rebuild the bridge but I can’t. I can’t hope. I don’t want to.
I’m afraid..
I’m afraid that I’ll stumble for you. Not fall, I’ve fallen for you once and I’ve flirted with you twice and then I just went insane. So the next would be stumbling, rolling down a hill with a garden of thorn-bushes and roses. A beautiful yet hurtful view of everything.
Full of pain, beauty and sorrow. If it were that, I’d rather just fall into a bed full of Black Roses. That at least has a bit more character. A little better than a rose with thorns, a black rose is just dark. It’s just there. It’s empty.
I just want to be friends once more, but we were never ‘just’ friends.. so that’ll be the hardest part.
It’s sort of depressing to see that all three times that I’ve taken that little test, it has shown similar results in each. Each having bits and pieces of the other, I’m not exactly sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
Let’s just say if it were a good thing, at least I’m coming to realization with myself.. through the internet? Not really that, I guess. I’d say it’s just trying to see who I am and if I can compare with these results and it’s very unfortunate that there isn’t much of a difference.
All this self-worth bullshit. The emotional bullshit. The frustration. The lack of communication. Lack of somebody to keep me company. I honestly long for somebody, in hopes of being able to find a bit of myself through somebody else and I don’t think that’s healthy, but not everything you want is healthy, is it?
You are quite anxious, most likely because of strong feelings that your worth is not being appreciated, either romantically or in the platonic realm. Often you will feel that those around you do not understand you. This leads to a withholding of emotional commitment in a romantic relationship and this distance can create problems of its own, exacerbating the difficulties and leading others to view you as cold and calculating.
A sense of hopelessness is making you unreasonable and disagreeable. Fears of losing status or security are causing anxiety and stress. You have a sense of loss that you do not want to get any worse, and this is expressing itself as a negative attitude and a general unwillingness to relinquish control.
You feel frustrated in your attempts to make your will manifest itself in a relationship, either public or private. This frustration can be seen by others as an irritability or anxiety and occasionally as a tendency to drift into self-righteous anger. There is a feeling that society or people around you are holding you back, which can lead to moral exhaustion and a sense of apathy if allowed to fester. Ultimately, if this continues, you will long only to be alone.
You feel unsatisfied with your professional or romantic relationships. There is a sense that others do not have the same high standards, or that circumstances have put you into a position in which your true value is not appreciated. You want to be loved and admired for talent and skill, and if you do not feel either one, anxiety and frustration will lead to a sense of nervousness. You will often feel that emotional release is weakness and this will be frustrating to the success of your sexual relationships. Often you will confuse restraint with strength.
You feel misunderstood and this sense is causing anxiety and frustration, leading to a conflict with your sense of self-worth. Other people’s judgement is brought into question, because you feel that no one in your immediate sphere is completely reliable or completely understands you. Such feelings can lead to a pronounced egotism or temper.
You have attempted to improve yourself through self-negation and a perseverance through hard work and the avoidance of mindless pleasures. Often you will seem overly restrained in demeanor. You crave admiration to a point that is often unhealthy, however a strong belief in yourself means that you will often be quite stubborn. Unfortunately, the lack of perceived admiration has left you in a distracted and uncertain state, one in which decision making is avoided for fear of the repercussions.
(Source: expresstophresh)
(via simounsantos)
(Source: hiddleism, via rapsforhugs)
“From that time on, the world was hers for the reading. She would never be lonely again, never miss the lack of intimate friends. Books became her friends and there was one for every mood. There was poetry for quiet companionship. There was adventure when she tired of quiet hours. There would be love stories when she came into adolescence and when she wanted to feel a closeness to someone she could read a biography. On that day when she first knew she could read, she made a vow to read one book a day as long as she lived.” — A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, Betty Smith (via libraryatsea)
(via mmmelissa)
It’s fascinating how every person has their individual sounds. From the way they move to the rustle of their clothes. The gentle rush of their breath as well as the unorganised tune of their laughter. Just the sound of their existence that radiates with the smallest and tiniest of actions. And it’s intriguing that we can become so familiar with some of these sounds that we no longer have to open our eyes to know the source of these quiet noises. We just know.
(via navk)
Wow.
What is Lydia supposed to be? A Vampire, but what could resist vampires and have a natural hate towards it other than Vampires? Holy shit, unless there’s some other fucking mythical creature that is actually some how related and natural enemies to werewolves other than hunters and vampires or paladins and priests………………………………………………… lol
She’s cute.
Oddly, plainly, normally cute. Such an attractive way. I guess not oddly, or normally, it’d be better said that she is naturally cute and this is a natural attraction that unfortunately only I feel and I see it as. Just a normal, you are yourself, cuteness and way and I have no way to describe it but this is how I feel with a lot of dope chicks. Well, not a lot, maybe like 2. Yeah, dude. Anyways..
Peace. I hope you find me as plainly awesome.
[video]
(Source: dumbledorathexplora, via africanphenomenon)